Today, I’m joined by my bestie from residency and fellow coach, Dr. Melissa Parsons—the one who first introduced me to coaching. And let me tell you, at the time, I thought she’d lost her mind. But as we all know now, she was onto something that completely changed both our lives.
Melissa and I had a common struggle before coaching: the urge to control everything—especially the people we love. Like so many high-achieving women, we believed that if things were done our way, life would be smoother, safer, and just better. But here’s the truth: control is an exhausting illusion. No matter how much we try, the only thing we actually have control over is ourselves. And the more energy we pour into micromanaging, the less we have for what really matters—peace, connection, and trust.
In this episode, Melissa shares how she realized control was actually working against her, and we both open up about how loosening our grip has transformed our relationships—especially with our kids. Letting go doesn’t mean chaos; it means creating space for growth—both theirs and ours.
If control is your default mode, start small. Pick one thing you think has to be done perfectly, and just… let it go. Let yourself see that nothing crumbles when you do. And once you get a taste of what’s on the other side of control, you might just realize—you don’t want it back.
What you will learn:
- See how control functions as a survival skill—how having things just right can create a false sense of safety.
- Recognize the mental and physical toll that the need to control takes on you.
- Experience the relief and freedom that comes with accepting that the only thing you can truly control is yourself.
- Discover how letting go of control can transform your relationships for the better.
Featured:
- Learn more about Dr. Melissa Parsons on her website, listen to her podcast, or connect her on Instagram.
- Find more wisdom to guide you in letting go of control in When Things Fall Apart by Pema Chödrön.
- Did you hear about Arpita’s next Circle of Six 2.0 Group Cohort that launches on March 24th, 2025? Learn more and register before spots are gone HERE.
- Learn more about Dr. Arpita Gupta DePalma’s programs with Thought Work, MD, including 1-to-1 coaching for individuals, group coaching cohorts for organizations, and her online self-study courses HERE.
- Transforming Your Anger From Reaction to Response Online Self Study Course with Dr. Arpita Gupta DePalma.
