Conflict is normal and natural in human relationships. It exists because no two people on the planet agree about every single thing. 💯
We are all unique individuals with our own likes and dislikes and personal preferences, and when we are in a partnership with another person, there are bound to be moments when we clash.
If you have an unhealthy perception of conflict, you might blame your partner for everything that goes wrong, or you may continuously bring up old problems, or you use the silent treatment as passive-aggressive punishment.
You know what I’m talking about…
When you’re pissed off at your partner, you want them to feel your anger– as though if you stew in it you can push it onto them through osmosis and make them feel what you are feeling.🙅🏼
But when you behave this way,
guess who is the only person who is really feeling all the hurt and anguish?
Just YOU!!!
They don’t feel a damn thing.
Because- we can not control what they are thinking.
And THEIR thoughts create THEIR feelings.
You can try with all your might to be pissed off and do things that will “show them”, but ultimately only their own thoughts will control how they are feeling.
SO, you get to sit in the shitty thoughts and feel all the shitty feelings that your shitty thoughts are creating.
They feel none of it.
Huh…?
Yup, you heard that right…
Is it worth it?
It’s more likely that you are really just torturing yourself.
If you can start to look at conflict as a normal part of adult relationships and begin to approach disagreements with your partner from a place of curiosity, LOVE, and understanding, then YOU GET TO FEEL BETTER while working through it!!!!
That makes a ton more sense to me.
Want to start to work to create a new and more enjoyable future with your loved ones? Let me show you how to mitigate your anger responses with your partner today. 🦋
