Being one half of a couple can be one of the greatest experiences in life…and one of the most challenging. 🙉
It can be easy to focus on everything the other person is doing wrong and how you want them to change… and, that kind of thinking likely won’t benefit you or your partner.
The most effective action you can take to resolve conflict in a relationship is to look at your own thoughts.
✨ Thoughts generate feelings.
✨ Feelings influence actions.
✨ Actions lead to results.
When you address your thoughts about a conflict you’ve encountered in your relationship, you are taking the first step in changing how you feel about the situation.
Since your feelings determine your actions, you empower yourself to take more productive actions when you choose to think about the conflict with curiosity while considering other perspectives.
The next time you find yourself triggered by your partner’s behavior, ask yourself some questions with loving curiosity:
Would I rather be right or happy? Why?
What am I making their actions or inactions mean?
Is being right in this instance worth sacrificing the connection and intimacy in our relationship?
Is that sense of satisfaction I get from being right worth creating a disconnect in our relationship?
Can you explore what would happen if you gave up the need to be right?
The next time you find yourself getting worked up about something in your relationship, try following these steps.
1️⃣ Identify the conflict. Decide – together – what the indisputable facts of the situation are. I mean it… FACTS only. Remove the emotion.
2️⃣ Practice active listening: let your partner tell you why THEY are right, without trying to interject your opinion or argue. And then, be OK with you not getting a turn.
3️⃣ Next, ask – lovingly and with curiosity – what are you making the other person’s actions or inactions mean? Are you making it an attack on yourself ?
4️⃣ Finally, be solution-oriented. Agree to let go of the problem from this point forward and focus now only on potential solutions. No more dwelling in the past
The beauty of becoming more aware of your thoughts is that you have the power to change them, and in doing so, you can change your relationships, and your life. 🦋
Ready to start taking responsibility for the quality of your relationships (and your life) and step into your power?
Book a Discovery Consultation with me and let’s get started. 👏🏽