🙅🏾 Sometimes we think that just saying “No” is setting a boundary.
🙅🏽 Or we think that saying “You can’t do that.” by threatening another person is setting a boundary.
🙅🏿 And if you find that you don’t like or know how to say no, you set yourself up for boundary violations.
(Because, you will either say “yes” when you mean no, OR you will say no and lie about why you’re saying no to in order to try and control what the other person thinks about you.) Did you get all that?
💜 To set a boundary, you need to follow up your “No” with personal action.
💜 That sometimes means lovingly telling a person what you will do in response to their behavior. Rather than telling the other person how you want them to act, you retain your power by just letting them know what action you will take if they violate your boundaries.
💜 To set a boundary, you can use an “If/then” format: “If you _____, then I will ______.”
💜 For example, if your Mom always makes comments about your weight during holidays, you can say “Mom, if you make comments about my weight, then I am going to leave.”
💜So get really good at saying no. A great way to do this is to practice. When a situation comes up where you’re not sure if you want to do something, ask yourself, “Is this a hell yes… or a fuck no?” 😂
💜 If you’re not wholeheartedly, 100% behind the thing, then say NO! Because when you say yes to things that you’re just not that into, you’re actually saying no to the things that you ARE into and WASTING YOUR TIME!!
💜 LET GO of what other people think about you. Let go of trying to control them. Let people be WRONG about YOU!
💜 Do kind things for people only when you want to, and not if the only reason is so that they will like you or to avoid feeling guilt.
Creating boundaries is an act of self-love. And self-love is where all positive change begins. 🦋Practice unconditional self-love, like Buckeye 🐶 is doing here with me. It feels AMAZING!
