The first step in creating boundaries is understanding what kind of behaviors you want to allow and mitigate in your life. 👏🏼
In order to create an effective boundary, you only need to determine your response when the other person behaves in a way that doesn’t fit you. It’s important to remember that your goal is not to try to control or change their behavior, it’s simply to let them know what YOU will do in response to their actions. 💯
Remember, setting boundaries should always come from love, NOT be an attack on the other person.
To set a clear, firm boundary, try using an if/then statement:
💠 “If you _______, then I will ________.”
💠 “If you are running more than 15 minutes late picking me up for the party, then I’ll just catch an Uber.”
💠 “If you send me the dates that everyone is available and committed to, I will be happy to plan the event.”
💠 “If you’re not able to clean up your room this week, then I may not be available to drive you to your friend’s house this weekend.”
💠 “If you are unable to go for a run when it works for my schedule, I’ll miss you, and I may find another running buddy.”
When you set clear boundaries and explain what the consequences to others’ actions will be BEFORE they happen, you are honoring your needs and if shared with them, are giving others a chance to understand how their behaviors affect you. And, depending on the situation, sometimes it’s OK to not tell the other person what your boundary is…
☁️ If you smoke in my house when I have parties despite my requests to smoke outside, I know I won’t be inviting you next time.
It’s important to make sure that you always follow through with what you plan to do if your boundaries are violated. It’s a reminder to yourself of your self-love and commitment- that you are honoring your own word and can trust yourself.
Setting boundaries doesn’t have to be difficult.
Book a Discovery Consultation with me today and let me show you how simple it can be. 🦋