We may set certain boundaries to keep others from intruding on our privacy or from crossing our lines.
If someone you know or love is becoming intrusive, set consequences for the actions that you will take in response. Your response is not an attack on the other person but rather is there to allow you to love yourself.
“If you do ________________, then I will ________________.”
You don’t get to tell people what they can’t do or what you don’t want them to do.
You get to tell them what YOU will do.
If your friend is a smoker and you don’t want to be around cigarette smoke, let your buddy know in advance that you would love to visit them, but you will leave if they choose to smoke.
If your friend is always late, let her know that you love to go out with her to eat, but you will plan to meet her along with other friends so she can arrive when it works out best for her.
If your dad always tends to talk negatively about your mom (his ex-wife) when you visit him, let him know in advance that if he chooses to speak that way that you will leave.
Loving yourself comes with letting others know in advance what your actions will be when your boundaries are violated. They help prevent people from violating things that bother us in our life.
And remember, if you make a boundary request and then don’t follow through with your consequence, you’ve just made an idol threat that diminishes your self-respect, as well as their respect for you.
Let’s start working on this together. Sign up for a session with me today!
