A Manual is a set of rules or expectations that we create for certain people to meet in order for us to feel content or happy. When those people fail to meet those requirements, we can be left feeling angry or upset since things didn’t go as we had wanted. This doesn’t apply to our employees or young kids, of course.
Is there anyone in your life that you have a set of “rules” for?
When these humans don’t act the way you want them to, how does that make you feel?
“I asked my husband to pick up the dog crap and he didn’t. He doesn’t care about what I want.”
“I asked my daughter to call me every day in college and she never does. Her friends are more important to her than us.”
“I asked my friends to look for dates for a girl’s weekend and they never reply with a date. They don’t value the friendship as much as I do.”
Notice how these rulebooks can affect your relationships with others in a negative way.
When we stop holding others to our expectations or standards, we empower ourselves to maintain control of how we want to feel.
Recognizing humans’ unique habits or quirks in advance and then planning for how we want it to impact us will help us accept them, move on, and avoid expending valuable energy by trying to change them.
Save your manuals for inanimate objects and your energy for yourself.
