I was PISSED when we took this picture.
I people pleased to get a shot of this cute village in Portugal for my memory book, and was seething underneath…
The holiday season can be stressful for many of us, and our thoughts about how events or people should be can cause us to experience anxious feelings, which can lead to taking people-pleasing actions.
We might feel pressured to make decisions or behave in certain ways in order to make other people happy, and we might think that it is selfish to put our own needs and desires first and feel guilty for not trying harder to appease others.
After all, it IS the holidays…the time of the year when we try to do things to make others happy.
Buying thoughtful gifts or doing kind things for the people we love is not the same as people pleasing. 💯
People pleasing is when you act like someone you’re not, or say that you’re ok with things when you’re really not ok with them, just to get other people’s approval.
It’s trying that food that always makes you feel terrible because your Grandma made it. It’s sitting and listening to your Uncle tell jokes that make you feel uncomfortable because you don’t want to “cause drama.” It’s vocally agreeing with people about their political opinions because you don’t want to make a scene, even though internally you don’t agree at all.
Here’s the thing: you don’t have to do anything that you don’t want to do. That’s the beauty of being an adult. 🙌
And if you do choose to spend time with your family for the holidays, you get to choose how you react to events.
You can choose to set boundaries, speak your mind, or simply leave if you start to feel really uncomfortable. It doesn’t have to be dramatic, and you don’t have to do it in a way that makes it seem like punishment to your family for not behaving the way you want them to. 👏
If you’re a chronic people pleaser or are just unsure of how to navigate the holidays, I can help.
Book a Discovery Consultation with me today and let me teach you how to honor your authentic self. 🦋