Recently I had the amazing opportunity to connect with likeminded sisters who are physician coaches.
There was time to reflect and write on our progress as we continue to forge the path to heal our fellow healers.
I’m by no means a writer, many of you may know some of my story, and maybe this will resonate with you all who are juggling all the things and always striving to be perfect in your role as air traffic controller.
May this reflection inspire you to ‘let go’.
Letting Go…
I decided I needed to let things go.
That it was no longer all needing to be done.
That it didn’t all need to be done perfectly and my way.
But it was so hard.
Would it all fall apart if I wasn’t the one navigating the ship?
Would everything I had worked so hard to create gradually crumble over time to chaos and disorganization?
What if this impacted our livelihood in the end?
What if people would think I was not that “good” at this if it wasn’t all perfect?
I started with baby steps.
Not finishing everything on my list for once.
Wow.
No one seemed to notice.
There was no visible ripple effect.
Nothing broke down.
Then, I omitted one thing that I thought HAD TO GET DONE- and didn’t do it.
Boy, that was hard.
Waiting for it all to crash, for the repercussions to come.
For the scolding or embarrassment following the lack of follow through or completion.
It didn’t.
Gradually, I began to do the things I wanted for myself.
The things that fulfilled me and brought me joy.
And they were taking the place of (and the time of) those other things that I had before made be so pressing, prioritized, and important.
Holy Shit.
THIS is what enjoying what we do means.
THIS is effortless work.
THIS is my calling and what fills my cup.
Healing others, but in a different way.
And still, the old priorities do call me here and there.
The repercussions do appear now and again for things that got missed or that were done incorrectly.
And, other people are able to right the train back onto the track.
Nothing is permanently damaged.
Everything can be figured out.
Everything happens exactly how it is supposed to.
Other people can support us to allow me to do what I do best.
It doesn’t have to all be on me.
I was the one creating all the urgency.
And, I can let go.